my innocence

a new chapter in life

2011-12-22T04:10:00.000-08:00

22.12.11
happy birthday sister :) candice chai yuann yuann.
even if u have been a pain in my ass and constantly keep
getting me into trouble, your still my sister.
and i've got too much of a lil sister ego to tell u i love u
face to face :) but i do. haha

on 19.12.11
- Vanity Night - smkbu prom :)
it was one of the best nights ever.
went over at troppy about 1pm to tie 200 balloons D:
quite sien la. LOL but its all good. went back to ls hse to bathe then
head over to ou for hair&makeup. reached back
at troppy about 7ish to find out it has
been blacked out since 6 -.- .
at 8pm, the generator arrives..and only after an
hour...the electricity was back on. PROM was then kickstarted with so many performances :)
overall..it was an amazing night. everyone had fun :)
it was the best prom of 2011.
so hear me out, fuck you if u didn't come cos u
think it'll be lame. fuck you if u think
we couldn't do it and fuck you if you looked down on us.
even with small number, we had the time of our lives <3

even with small numbers, we had the night of our lives :) <3

after having to live in taiping..for so many days,
i really appreciate life more. this is based and for my ama.
a few months back, on lantern festival day..
something bad happened to my grandmom :/
it was about in the evening when she went out with my grandfather..
to get some mooncake.
she was walking on the road towards the car after
already purchasing the stuff they needed.
a motorcyclist drove buy and tried to pull off
the handbag from ama's arm. in shock,
ama lost balanced and fell head first on the road.
the motorcyclist did not manage to take the hanbag but
ama was unconscious with blood coming out from her ears.
kongkong quickly rushed him to the emergency room.
as the results came back, ama broke her hip bone
and her brain was bleeding internally. hours pass and she was getting weaker and weaker.
the doctor in the taiping general hosp ordered her to be sent
to the main hospital in ipoh to be checked again.
ama was weak :/ she couldn't open her eyes. the bleeding of her brain did
not stop. thus, a surgery was needed to be done to have at least a chance for her to live.
the surgeon had a talk with mummy, over the circumstances of this surgery.
because of my grandmother's age, the chances of ama living thru this is slight.
and if she does manage to go thru the surgery..there will be side effects
such as memory loss and so on as they will be operating on her brains.
the surgery took place at about 12am till 3am. mummy received a call from
the hosp saying its over, they can go see her now.
after all that :/ ama was in icu. having to go in there..and see
all these...tubes and wires connected to her. hurts alot.
after weeks and weeks of seeing her in the same condition,
i had to go back to kl as it was my spm trials week. i already skipped
my moral paper for trials. as months passed..ama managed to fight
thru it. she woke up. i was so happy everything turned out ok.
today i sit here in taiping..watching my mom,aunt and my uncle..
helping her and nurturing her to walk again.
it brings tears to my eyes. it shows that...
life can just go like that...in a split second. why waste it on
things that'll bring u nowhere but down?

i love my family.
i love life.

.xxoo.
.CrystaL.

N*5

2011-10-13T10:04:00.000-07:00

13.10.11

sometimes things just do go the way you want them to.

sometimes ppl say things, they don't mean out of anger.

but if u sum it up all together and add a lil more problems,

you get LIFE.

when i was about form2 to form3 i was a big B I T C H. trust me.

i would go around..thinking i was the coolest kid on the blog.

telling ppl i did things, which i didn't do.

skip skewl, fight with teacher, fight with ppl

and seriously many many more.

but i learn tru it. luckily for me..i had the 4 greatest ppl.

they helped me tru it..like hell they did. they were fucking

worried for me. i really have to thank them for that.

i wouldn't be who i am standing here today, if it wasn't for them.

we are the N*5. this may sound lame..but baby if u met us,

you'd be blown away. we've been friends for 5 years..

there are ups and downs..but we made it. we made tru everything.

due to the fact that we are all girls, we tend to pms.

quite alot (kengean) but its okay. TROLOLOLOL. we still livetru it. i'm really proud and happy to say, i thank god i have themby my side..during the happy times and the sad. 5 years come and go babes..promise me one thing?we would never end..cos this is one of the greatest relationships..i have ever had. in my laife! and believe me..thats a lot of relationships to be compared to. we will never be apart ok? forever we stand as 1 and forever we go as 1. those bitches out there..they only hate us cos they can't havewhat we have. you name it...we've been tru it.after this year finally ends...we'll be going our separate ways,it's really sad come to think of it. all i know is, i know u girls will have my backas i will have yours! thanks alot babes. you make my life a living hell anda dying heaven :) i <3 u guys. actually i less than infinity N*5 !!if u don't invite me to your wedding!!! we are no longer tight yo!

ahhahaha...LUB LUB YOU BABES <3

I LOVE YOU GIRLS. N*5 FOR LIFE <3 fuck those who judge us. love those who like us <3

MEGAN GAN LI SHYEN. SOO KENG EAN. KEE YEE FERN. NG LAI KUAN. CRYSTAL CHAI CHIIN CHIIN.

this is a random pic btw. this will explain why i ain't a slut like those other bitches.
this is my primary skewl pic. i am the one on the second row, 3rd from the right side.
if u dont see me. damn ur blind cos i was HUGE. LOL :) lub lub cao

.xxoo.
.CrystaL.

Don't roll me down

2011-10-11T20:27:00.000-07:00

12.10.11
skipped skewl. again :/ home now. updates!

Confessions:
i've done alot of not so good things lately. things i never thought
in a million years i would allow myself to. i guess, this is just
part of life right? well..all i know is, that it may be real bad.
but hell! it made me feel so much better about myself. thanks :)

SPM is killing me softly these few days. i only have about
30++ days left. and i'm crazy freakin out. i'm not ready :( not at all.

OUH OUH my awesome friend baked me a cake!
and it was awesome shizzz :D HOMG his the bestest.
your gonna be so famous one day and forget me D:
naww man! ahahhaa. heres some pics to start of : -

I love my friends. they keep me going in life. ntg will come between us babes <3
5 years and we still going strong. best relationship i have ever had :)
xxoo N*5 we the booomshakalaka babies :D

.xxoo.
.CrystaL.

.baby it's cold outside.

2011-10-05T21:06:00.000-07:00

6.oct.2011
RIP STEVE JOBS.
you were the person who made everything possible.
everyone was devastated, when u left apple this year.
but i guess we finally know why. god needed u to go up there.
to fix his ipad (:

someone, i've been talking to. taught me alot.
taught me to be more confident in myself,
don't look down on others, don't look up too
much to others and so on. i've been tru so much,
with never ending heartbreaks and disappointments.
i'm only getting stronger (:

the day, you said to LS "can u guys stop doing this to me?
can you ask crystal to stop it. just stop it" yea..that openned
my all so blind eyes. to something so obvious. i've been waiting..
and hoping for u to come back. and now i can say this...
FOR FUCKS AHR?!? wtf man. seriously. i was so dumb.
u were a good bf...the best so far. but things change.
ppl changed. and hell no i'm not gonna wait for u to
change back. your not a transformer -.- you can't just
change into something diff in like 2.450 seconds.
wtv it is, i'm just not ready to be like..okay with saying hi and
bye yet. just, be patient. understand where i am coming from.
SPM is already a huge bitch to me.. i don't need u being 1 too.

JUST To you : ppl may call you a superstar/famous/celebrity/chef/topoftheworld and only be frens with u for that. look at me in the eyes, i'm not those type. who fucks around with friends. i'm not a girl who's only in it to be parasiting on your popularity. WHAT would i get in return? your not gonna give me money nor a house (: i'm only in it, to be part of who you are. haha. i wanna be ur patrick when ur the spongebob (: thats all. so don't get all pissed off when i call u a soupieestar (: cos you always are to me. *my head is stuck in the clouds*

.man who can cook is a <3 +.
.CrystaL.

My life ended when he left

2011-09-21T10:07:00.000-07:00

things got bad. after he left. it was all my fault.
i regret it everyday. its not just words that's coming out from my mouth.
i feel the pain. we did so much together. i screwed up..i admit.
i just didn't understand how it could have just ended like that.
it was suppose to be 99 years. you and me.
even so..i still love you. even now..i still love you.
now..here we are. talking on fb chats. as if everything else is fine.
well guess what? i'm not fine.
i miss you. i miss calling you mine. i need your love.
it's been so long. i'm still not over you.
guys are blowing up my phones, but i still only think about you.
the only person i wanna see a text or a call from..is an unknown number
but the same damn sweet voice that you made me fall in love with.
i'm sorry Tan Xiao-Ian. if your reading this, here is a msg for you

" i still love you. obviously i do. every night i think of you. when i even talk the slightest things about you, i'll have a hard time fighting my tears. just wanna tell you..i'm really sorry. i regret..everyday of my life. we were a good couple. you and i. the problems, troubles and pain we've been tru...paid off. i've been wshing you'd come back. that one day when i reach home from skewl..you'd be standing outside my hse waiting for me. maybe the wish...is just a wish. you don't know what i'll do to call you mine..just 1 last time. the pain just won't go away...as long as i don't have you when i still love you so very much. at this rate, i'll probably be in pain for the rest of my life. i miss us, picking me from skewl. heading to your hse. heading to my hse. going to langkawi. going to genting. we did so much. it all ended..because of me. i was a fucking idiot. i shouldnt have done what i did. how much i want to kill myself. to know that your easily moving on, kills me worst emotionally. bottom line is..i still love you ok? i'd pray for another chance..but knowing things, that'll probably just stay forever a prayer."

till next time. probably when i find myself. i fucked up & now i am fucked up.

.xoxo.
.CrystaL.

mid term

2011-05-20T22:27:00.000-07:00

hey world :D its been a while.
tell me about it. being form5 sucks.
especially if u fucked up ur form4.
then ur definitely screwed once u reached form5.
nothing much has change though.
just trying to get my fatass to study D:

so this are just a lil pics of my lil bday.
since the exams were near. couldnt celebrate with my babes.
but they still made my day. i love everyone of them.

thanks girls & guys. bros' and siss' for life la.

.xoxo. i still <3 my boyfie.CrystaL. 21/5

fairytale

2011-01-29T05:55:00.000-08:00

if i say it doesn't bother me,
well maybe i'm just trying to cover it up.
for all i know, i wish i could bring those times back
or maybe just hold on to it for a lil longer.
probably till the day
i could understand or even spell the word appreciate.
since i do now, i guess i can just try to
cherish those 9 years of my life having
a normal family.
even if i hardly remember them, i know i will someday.
i' could forgive you for what you did,
but never forget.
i've seen what she became and
how she reacted towards it.
it wasnt easy not knowing what everything will turn out like.
i was young and innocent.
came back from school a day,
see the maid packing up ur clothes and putting them in luggages.
the next thing you know it, you never came back for dinner anymore.
there wasnt anyone shouting at us cos the house was in a mess,
no more "kuih-kuih" for breakfast,
no more lap to sit on while watching the tv,
no more Bloomberg channels to doze off to.
it just ended like that.
even if we still keep in touch,
we still go for dinners..
its still really nice to go out as a family sometimes.
me + you + mummy + cheche + yuann.
2009. remember that year.

i guess things just change,
whether you want them to or not.
but thanks to you, i've learnt something really valuable.
i'd never marry a man like you.
and i if i do, i won't be the one walking out the door.
wtv it is.

mom + dad = i still love you.

.xoxo.
.CrystaL.

in sight.

2011-01-12T02:46:00.000-08:00

when times are bad.
where am i suppose to go?
"go to your corner and cry. the world doesn't revolve around you",she says.
SPM this year, and so many things are getting out of hand.
i hate my life, i hate my school, i hate my family.
where do i go from here? whats my future gonna be like?
its all in my hands, and i'm just standing here.
GOD pls bless me, let me do something good in my life.
so that my kid in the future won't have to suffer the way i did/am now.
baby, your the only thing that keeps me in a piece.
but your just not always there for me. i know,
you try to..and its not your fault. it's just the timing..
i'll pray really hard and make big wishes upon stars..
then someday things would be better, for me, for us, for everyone.

.xoxo.

.CrystaL.

.wish me luck.

5.1.11

2011-01-05T03:45:00.000-08:00

when you wake up,

feeling that ur entire body beggs for something,
your brain cant stop hungering for sweet memories be made,
yes..thats when u know...
you know that you've just lost..
something..
someone..
who leaves you..
and your just...
...
just..
..... empty.

Thank you for loving me the way you always do.
its about 7.52 pm now,
i just woke up from a nap
by a thought...an image of you,
which videoed through my head.
for only a second...
1 second, 1 album.
me + you..us.
i know for know, that every morning when ppl urge for their coffee,
baby urge for milk, god urge for peace,
homeless urge for love....
i know, that i urge for YOU.
; your my coffee every morning,
my milk when i'm stoned,
your the peace in my serenity
your
...my true love...
have a safe flight back, never forget me ok syg? cos u know u'll be on my mind. stronger and stronger each day.

*The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone*

.xoxo..CrystaL & IaN.

3 layer tea

2010-12-28T20:08:00.000-08:00

29.12.10.
hey baby :) happy 3 months. happy 3rd monthasary..
welcome back syg <3 it is pretty sad u gotta go in a week.
but its better than nothing right?
thanks for everything so far.
the talks, the dates, the dinner, the gifts, the loves.
i really appreciate having you in my life :)
99 years alright ? i'm up for it. are you?

i love you baby

.xoxo.
.CrystaL.

Discover.

2010-12-15T07:36:00.000-08:00

Had a pretty screwed up day.
disappointed with the fact that i'm being locked in the shop.
instead of going down where the event is happening.
but i guess its okay.
times when i just wanna come home,
to someone who cares. but..
....
......
yea :(
FML
who's gonna be there to lend me their ears?
to ask "how's your day?
or just..to talk to, after a long day of work.
but i can''t blame anyone in this situation.
its the damn timing and distance thats fucked up.

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO STAY HERE, WITH ME. FOREVER
pls..

.xoxo.
.CrystaL.

looops

2010-11-30T05:07:00.001-08:00

29.11.10

happy 2 months baby!

see even if your there and i'm here, we're still rocking this boat.

no matter how high we have to climb

or how far we have to crawl, we go through them together.

just me and you (: against all odds.

i promise to never let you go <3
thanks for always being the best to me and being there when i needed you the most.
i know we fight alot..but baby it only makes us stronger :D
i lub lub you for the next 99 years aiight?
take care and good luck for ur exams.
come home soon, back to me k syg?

.xoxoxo.
.CrystaL <3IaN.

2010-11-03T15:22:00.000-07:00

PrincessBubu Isabelle Ooi saw a pork chop at a halal place! Wan eat? :P

10 hours ago · Comment · · See Friendship

- Huikwan Lee ya I saw, you eat 1st, :)
  10 hours ago ·
- PrincessBubu Isabelle Ooi dowan la all fats no meat. Mm ho sek wan
  10 hours ago ·
- Huikwan Lee ppl house no oil ma,use her and cook lor
  10 hours ago ·
- PrincessBubu Isabelle Ooi haha ya ya ! Fat bitch , she stare wat wor! Lol maybe cause you dowan eat her so she angry you .
  10 hours ago ·
- Huikwan Lee maybe she jealous? Haha, Yerr I don't want eat her, so fucking ugly.'vomit'
  10 hours ago ·
- Shih Onn waliao! you 2 talking bout who? i wanna know! hahaha i very kepo!
  10 hours ago ·
- PrincessBubu Isabelle Ooi some despo bitch that stare cock at Hui Kwan. At osc now. Ah your lil sis hate her too wan ar. Know anot?
  10 hours ago ·
- Shih Onn oh i know! ahhahahahaha. why you all dont like her le? her bf our friend wor. :S
  10 hours ago ·
- PrincessBubu Isabelle Ooi so! Lucky he in australia. We give face never say her name di le hehe. Same reason why everyone else dont like her. Lol
  10 hours ago ·
- Shih Onn hahah, okay chilling la. she didnt do anything to me so i have no grudge. :) i just kepo. chilling milling.
  10 hours ago ·
- PrincessBubu Isabelle Ooi chilling. Hehe just fun to insult losers. :) its like a girls thing hehe

**** LIKE ****
open up your eyes to more productive things in life.
grow up and put your head up high.
i hope you'll see that i *like* your comment on fb.
well no worries. i don't blame you.
but please think wisely now and start letting things go.
i had nothing against you till this appeared.
so basically good luck in life.
and thanks for telling me i'm fat.
better fat than ugly right?
.xoxo.
.CrystaL.

gucci gucci

2010-09-22T03:16:00.000-07:00

22.9.10

so many things going on.

so much drama, so much bullshit.

all i wanted to do is run away from all of it

or just jump.

jump and see everything flash back as my life is at its end.

to see what i've done wrong and the pain i've brought to everyone.

wtv thats done is done.

gotta get a move on with life.

i've learnt so much and went through it all with tears side by side.

i just hope i really got the taste of my own medicine.

sorry to all of you. you know who you are.

i'm gonna change for the better, change for my family and change for you.

thank you.

<3.xoxo.

.CrystaL.

.Luxury.

2010-09-14T22:32:00.000-07:00

15.9.10
its been a pretty long time since i wrote.
i guess thats cos life was being stable at that point.
well for now, its been so different. so much things were learnt.
sometimes i just wish i was back in kindergarden when
guys had cooties, wearing matching coloured clothes and the toughest decision made in
a day is picking a crayon. everything was so much easier then.

thats my topic for today i guess, decisions.
i've made a huge decision lately and
i really hope its the right one. i'm sorry if
i've hurt you because of this. nothing has been the same since.
i know my wrong and i regret. but i gotta live too. if you love me,
and if u really think you do. pls understand. this was not plan.
and there isnt anyone else. god bless you. take care...pls. <3>

*goodbye my almost lover,

goodbye my hopeless dreams,

i'm trying not to think about you,

cant you just let me be.

so long my luckless romance,

my back is turned on you,

should've known you'd bring me heartache,

almost lovers always do*

.xoxo.

.CrystaL.

nightmare.

2010-05-14T06:16:00.000-07:00

life sucks.
i hate being my size. its just irritating sometimes.
ppl who love you, dont wanna hurt your feelings so they
tell you your not fat. which is true..but your not thin either.
so where do i stand? and ppl who dislike you would
go around saying your fat. so which one should i believe?
thats where it sucks. according to me.. i usually go with the negative side.
maybe its because i feel shallow inside, who knows?
it hurts to know that ppl call you fat. i know i am fat..
you don't have to go around screaming it to the whole world.
what has my weight ever done to you.? my weight
is a really sensitive issue to me. maybe to a million other girls out there.
to get a comment about it sucks. so all those thin girls out there, be happy of what you have.
stop being bulimic and live your life by enjoying food while you can.
cos fat ppl like me gotta suffer and control the type and amount
of food we consume to make the size we are now
consistent or smaller. i dont mind comments to me in a nice way..
but i dont like ppl bitching about it behind my back and LOUDLY. ouh so louadly.
so you...watch your words. i'm lettin you off now, cos u dont know where you stand.
whereas for the next time, i'll just stretch my right arm and use 4muscles
to slap your motha fuckin face out. who knows..
maybe when i slap you i can retarderfy your retarded face.
don't worry i still respect you because your bf is my fren =]
but for you..i dun give a flying fuck about you.
i maybe fat hun...but i sure am lucky not to be ugly like you.
so basically..FUCK YOU!

.xoxoxo.
.CrystaL.

Holland

2010-05-10T06:21:00.000-07:00

its time.
to let you go.
i've done my part.
and you should know.

you were more than a friend.
a friend i would love to keep.
you meant alot to me.
thats why i saved you from the weeps.

well..its time to leave you alone now.
as i can see.
you only need me when your down and low.
when you need my help again, call my name.
i'll put all your miseries in flame.

i enjoyed those 5am nights on skype.
memories like that will never be erased.
i'll be missing you presence while your gone.
but i know you need your space.
teddy.

*so baby don't worry,you are my only,
you won't be lonely, even if the sky is falling down,
you'll be my only, no need to worry,
baby are you down down down down down,
down..down,
baby are you down down down down down,
down..down,
even if the sky is falling down.*

.xoxo.
.CrystaL.

1.5.10

2010-05-05T06:30:00.000-07:00

my birthday sucked. i guess wateva happened iin the morning
spoiled the whole day. my sister took the time to
organise a surprise party for me when she saw
my post on FB. hey...at least she cared. well now i really know
who are TRUE friends right? but..wtv that my sister took
her time to do...dint make up for the pain i was going tru.
so yea...i dunno when its gonna end, but all i
can say is that it wont last that long.i'm disappointed in you.
in BOTH of you..sigh. hell knows why it happened to me.
i've been too much of an asshole to deserve this i guess.
well..thats all for now.

.xoxoxoxoxo.
.CrystaL.

.the smell of wine and cheap perfume.

2010-04-30T06:00:00.000-07:00

30.4.10

i guess somethings just dont work out the way u want them to.
not everything goes the way you planned it to go.
so i just play my part and hope u have a change of heart.

hey hey :D just came back from msss like yday. i got injured!! oh no =<.
sobs sobs...now i gotta wear a bandange wrapping
my ankle and walk like a freakin retard.
i dont understand MALAYSIANs sometimes. they like to stare.
if your bra is out (they stare) if you fall (they stare)
if you stare (they stare) if you walk around limping(they stare)
if your WHITE (THEY STARE)
god darn it! GOD gave you 2 eyes not to stare.
he gave you 2 eyes to not only see physically but also deeply inside
a person. so STOP STARING! i know i walk like a retard!! you
dont have to stare!! ASSHOLES =.=

the msss was held at banting. it was so fun.
my roomates were awesome and awesomely noisy too, right teddy?
hahahaha..well yea. lost in quarters :< it was all my fault.
dint play my game..sigh. sorry ashley.
and stupid stroking made me sprain my ankle. then
the stupid tap in the toilet made me cut my hand! fucks.
not my day..seriously. anyhow, tomorrow
is my bday =] no idea wad to do yet.
maybe just b a couch potato somwehre since
i'm retarded on my bday. so much for sweetsixteen right?
well..its okay i've got my boyfriend and BESTFRIENDS(teddy, ke, ls & lk =D)
to keep me safe and happy. i love them..all of them to bits and pieces.
well i guess thats all for now. aint got much to say other than
today sucks hard core cock! till next time peeps =]

.xoxoxo.
.CrystaL.

make our great escape.

2010-04-24T08:07:00.000-07:00

shakalaka boom!
life is always about the money.
here, there, everywhere..all money money money.
i wish i was rich =/ i could get anything i want.
like an awesome car..or like a bigger house. or SLAVES!
they can like feed me grapes and wipe my ass when i am done
with the loo.

but sadly..my family isn't that rich. only my dad
but he has another WOMAN to take care of now. *Sigh*

ouh well..i guess life just sucks for me. i just hope it gets
better after reaching my birthday next week.
i hope my dad at least got me the phone i want. nokia 5530.
i doubt he'll get it for me..there isn't much point
at staring at the bright side anymore..cos I'll just knock myself
down with disappointments. anyhow..i'll just write
down a birthday wish list which i hope i'll get them as presents :]

Crystal chai's personal birthday wish list :

1. nokia 5530 (white colour with pink linings)
2. roxy handbag
3. roxy bikini
4. heels
5. roxy watch
6. nike gym bag
7. roxy sandals
8. roxy pencil box
9. money
10. to have back a normal family wouldn't hurt

so far..i guess thats all.
.mysweetsixteen.1.5.10.

.xoxoxo.
.CrystaL.

clarity, peace, serenity

2010-03-23T02:36:00.000-07:00

awakening of morning dews in the dawn,
shadows of trees glowing in the night,
growing up with a family which is torn,
fighting through challenges of life with all her might.

summer arrives; drying the earth,
giving animals the urge of thirst,
seen him disappear with her own eyes were rough,
thinking back of how it started is tough enough.

flowers start to bloom as spring draws closer,
awakening mother earth from her rest,
living a life isn't easy without a father,
burden is on her,my mom; to do her best.

leaves having to drizzle like rain,
when autumn comes along,
you can't imagine how much she was in pain,
she'll never forgive and let him back into her life for his wrong.

ice covering every part of land,
when winter strikes Christmas so clear,
it wasn't in their vow or marriage plan,
to have her find out he was cheating on her.

GOD invented the seasons in his finest,
summer, spring, autumn and winter,
even already having to raise 3 goddess,
love between mom and dad were gone forever.

.xoxoxo.
.CrystaL.

what i'd think about the 38 things 'US' girls don't know about guys

2010-01-10T06:07:00.000-08:00

1.Guys are more emotional then you think, if they loved you at one point,
it'll take them a lot longer then you think to let you go,
and it hurts every second that they try. (trust me on this one)
;then don't let go. why would you let something go if by letting go it'll
hurt you? doesn't make much sense for girls.
2. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always
think about the girl they truly care about. (even the pimps)
;it still doesn't change the fact that their flirting around. how do you expect
a girl to trust u by that way? well i dont know
bout the other chicks in the world, but all i know is that i wont
be able to trust someone who would go flirting around.
3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile. =]
; agreed! i gotta say even though most times their
the cause of the sadness but guys will never fail to
put a smile back up on our faces =D
4. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him. (yeah, and it's usually something stupid )
; i adore that =] it shows how much
the guy would go through just to get my attention.
5. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest.
Unless they're goin for the
let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.
(oh yes! what guy has not tried this one?)
; guys hate it when we do, but wad bout how us girls feel when
the guy talks about their exs'. it goes both ways.
6. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to. (yeah, so stop calling 300 guys a day)
; that is understood but wad if i'm not the only girl HE talks to?
7. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved. (yeah so stop calling 300 guys a day)
; =D that won't be a problem *I LOVE YOU BABY!*
8. Guys don't care how gorgeous you are, if you're a bitch-- Goodbye.
(yeah so stop calling 300 guys a day and work on your personality)
;i kinda disagree with that. if ur ugly, the guy wouldnt even wanna know u.
the appearance does count..at times.
9. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind..
" would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.
And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.
( i can't really add anything to this one)
; that is the time when the girl actually wants more attention given.
the guy should put in more effort to find
out wads the hanging msg about. thats the main reason why
girls actually invented hanging msgs!
10. Girls are guys' weaknesses. (i wonder if it's the other way around too?)
; no comment
11. Guys are very open about themselves (
and if their not about something they have a damn good reason)
;its nice to have a very open guy. so that tings wont go boring
while time passes.
12. If a guy tells you about his problems,
he just needs someone to listen to him more than anything else.
(Advice is appreciated though =])
;its wad girlfriends are for =D
13. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
(yep, it goes back to that kindergarden kid that was
poking the girl he liked with a stick, all the other guy's saw and thought
"wow that's a damn good idea!"
; guys should know their limits. dont start teasing bout her family or her weight
and size, then it'll be okay =]
14. Guys love you more than you love them. ( yessir)
; i'll only believe that if only he starts showing it more. actions speaks
louder than words. way way louder in this case.
15. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful or gorgeous.
If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole hell of a lot. ( this is true)
;it sucks to hear your boyfriend calling other girls hot infront
of you. so guys out there...listen up.
16. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.
(nice asses or boobs sure help though, don't get me wrong!)
;thats what they always say. its quite true. QUITE
17. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.
(yeah, if your not compassionate, your insensitive, but if your too compassionate your gay....)
; thats wad i call man-ego. guys think too much of wad other guys or their
friends will think about them, and they'll just somehow
forget to show some love to their girlfriends.
18. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does,
even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours,
trying to figure out what it meant.
(we really do, beleive it or not)
; don't keep it to yourselves. girls like guys who
wants to find things out. especially if the girls got
upset or disappointed because of it.
19. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl,
he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.
(and what guy hasn't done something stupid?)
; i would think back about it and laugh it off when i'm down =].
20. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back,
he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside. (this is always true )
; MAN-EGO!!!
21. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl,
he really is. Guys rarely say that. (so we mean it when we say it)
;no comment.
22. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying,
"Please come and listen to me."
(it's pretty much the only thing we say that means something else, so know it.)
; its pretty harsh to get shooed sometimes. remember,
girls are SENSATIVE in and out.
23. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.
It doesn't happen that often, so when it does,
you know something's up. (yeah dude, seriously!)
; i always listen. even when i'm having some problems myself..
i still always listen.
24. When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't.
It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you
to disagree with them. (yeah, it's really annoying when you compliment
a girl on her looks and then end up arguing with her!)
; but its like..i dunno i guess the girl is trying to be humble.
25. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.
(unless were just spacing out. so check to see if were blinking)
; it'll be creepy! i'll probably think "wtf?? is there something on my
face or in my teeth or something??"
26. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes. (so get a telescope)
;girls have unexplainable problems.
27. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily. (oh yes.)
; i'd like someone who wont give up. keep
working hard till he gets his answer.
28. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys. (it's actually true!)
; i so totally disagree. i dream about him in my sleep. beat that x]
29. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and
are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them. (it's very strange)
;we girls just need attention. we love being and feeling loved in return.
its wad every girl would wish for.
30. A guy would give his right nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.
(no way! well maybe leftly, but not mr. right!...okay yes mr. right...)
;keep trying to begg for it. dont stop or threaten her. it'll never work
31. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn
to admit it. (yeah, so remember, if we seem
overwellmed and we don't ask for help, offer it. we'll accept it)
; and again i'd like to say MAN-EGO!
32. Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass
doesnt mean he represents ALL of them...just most. good guys'
are a dieing breed. (i blame the damn hippies)
;well, most good guys are either taken, married or gay =]
so girls, when one just left a relationship..react fast. lol
33. Guy's love it when girls talk about their boobs. (haha oh yes)
;wow, so much for personality. ahhaha
34. When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually
(yeah so avoid guys who do that, they almost always turn out to be Assholes)
;i've got girl friends who does that to me! (LAIKUAN, KENGEAN & LISHYEN) i should avoid them =]
35. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs.
(this is actually true! i didn't think i was but i tested it!
so we don't admit it or even crack a smile
we just grab your arms and pull them away...lol)
;i know x]

36. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..
it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts.
(so true, especially after a rough day..)
; i know xD
37. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you,
he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible. ( remember this one )
;wohoooo! i love him =]
38. Even if you dump a guy months ago and he loved you he probaly still does and if
he had one wish it would be you to come back into his life.
(this is very true. takes us guys a long time to get over you girls. can you blame us? your awesome!)
;okayyy -.-

.xoxoxo.
.CrystaL.

3.10.09

2009-10-03T04:26:00.000-07:00

today was meiling koko's wedding lunch =]
she was so pretty and it was ages since i've last seen her.
it was held at bukit jalil clubhouse(taithong)
the food was AWESOME =D
met alot of long time no see relatives. it was fun.
but on the way back, the car FREAKIN BROKE DOWN. farkss..
so yea..went to alex's hse and basically vandalised his room *heeee*
happy marriage? merry marriage? selamat marriage? good marriage? hmm..=/

HAPPY MERRY SELAMAT GOOD MARRIAGE =D

"i hate larlar's but i take picture like 1. dont talk to me. i'm too cool for you."
:hey you bitch. suck on my dick okay? i've got more friends than you do. ouh wait
you don't have any in the first place. so obviously i've got more. you think they like you?
they don't give a shit bout you. so stop stealing frens from ppl who live with you.
=D its my blog..so fuck yourself. at least i don't give a shit bout yours. no one looks at yours.
so fucking get a life k? so don't tell ppl you seldom update, cos they dont give an anus crap.
THEY DONT READ IT!!!! get that in your thick skull whorebagg.

btw to teachers, i know your reading. LEAVE THE SHITS OF ME ALONE.
jesus christ. if u want me to change, you sure gotta start changing the perspective you have
on me..yourself. so like, go give a crap bout your kids so that they won't turn out like me. k? C=

.xoxoxo.
.CrystaL.

ending of the rayaholsday

2009-09-26T08:43:00.001-07:00

learnt pretty much alot at this end of holiday.
not much problems and it was relxing.
found out who were my real friends,
and who were there just to be entertained.
met new friends and new ppl.
realised that you really need to get to know somone
before trusting them.
ps. i miss doing things which cant be done when your single =/

.xoxoxo.
.CrystaL.

begining of the rayaholsday

2009-09-15T05:44:00.000-07:00

kinda too lazy to write. but here are some pictures.
more to come =D

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY JOSHUA!!

.xoxoxo.
.CrystaL.

6.9.09

2009-09-06T09:12:00.000-07:00

happy birthday min ern!!!!! happy 21ist birthday!
don't go aussie so early k? hope u found a nice place
for ur party tonight =]
.went swimming again today =D awesome day.
did a lot of things actually =/.
here are some pics to keep ya updated.

.xoxoxo.
.CrystaL.

water.

2009-09-05T08:09:00.000-07:00

went swimming today at bukit kiara with lk and sis.
afte rthat went for lunc and then went bowling.
after bowling we freakin climb the kiara hill again.
OMG i sure learn my lesson to not eat nasi
lemak and climb hill after that. horrible! i swear i could
smell the rendang when i burped. hahaha
then came home at 6ish and went to the park.
went mj yday..got a lil tipsy? came home around 1ish and slept all
the way =D. i just got home from centrepoint with
lk,yuann and jasim. i'm so sick of chocolate cakes for now *barf*
till my next update, here are some pictures =D

.xoxo.
.CrystaL.

tonights the last night

2009-08-31T05:21:00.000-07:00

.holiday holidays holidies.
ouh no =/ its all coming to an end again.
well in this holiday i learn many things. like guys are assholes,
never lie to mummy and friends are everything you need in life.
so many things happened, its uncountable. thank god for pictures.
manage to take some pic during the hols. well not exactly some but quite alot.
but its still not ALL. skewls opening tomorrow =< ouh yeah! happy belated bday yiqin =D
sorry it came so late. hahahah dint know u quite well then. sorry babe =].
during the hols, i also learn that my auntie is quite an artist. she drew some things
on my sister's leg. hahahah. loving my familey =D and loving my friends too. ouh ouh. plus my dogs!

.xoxoxo.
.CrystaL.

monetize

2009-08-19T07:35:00.000-07:00

19 aug 09
i ate your mom yesterday for breakfast =D
hahaha..nvm bout that. trials are going on now.
their pretty fun actually if u dun count the getting caught
for cheating x].
went to community hall to disturb and play a lil badminton with
shaun and pasha then darren came and kacau.
apparently he thinks he plays very well. ahahh screw u mamak!
then walked back hoem ith chris around 5ish to get ready
for dinner with daddy. went to ou to have dinner at kura till
8ish. then walked aroudn with sis. i went SHOPPING!!! woooTT***
i feel..happy =D but lonely a lil. thank god i got G.T and J.K and J.J to
keep me occupied a lil by texting. thanks guys =]..
just got home like 2 minutes ago? and i cant wait till holidays start!
filled it up with dates already x]...but if there was a brothersister meet up.
i'll cancel them just to see them. i miss u shaun,laikuan and jason!!
but..tell me early la if got plans. i cant ffk my dates wei. abit the mean xD
maybe i could like berdate with u ppl there. it'll be so weird!!
anyway...having a pretty bad sore throat now =/ ughh
till next time..take care =D

.xoxo.
.CrystaL.

sashimi

2009-08-19T07:29:00.000-07:00

ls was playing with my phone in class. thanks lishyen for the weird pictures. lol

wei fung is an asshole.
i hate him! sohai fella go and push my head towards pasha when we
were kitar semula'ing smoke. damn basket wei he. because of that
i accidently kissed pasha. shit u wei fung!
anyway..trila!!! garr...horrible shit.

.xxxooo.
.CrystaL.

drops enough

2009-08-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

i had enough of all this..
well i guess it wasnt love
at least i know not to get involve with someone who
runs away from challanges in life and ignore them totally.
i enjoyed my time with you C=.
lol...anyway,
thank you for ur time and sorry for my wrong doings.
take care =D

16aug09.
ee's bubday today!!
havent been getting much sleep. like slept 5am for the pass few days.
lol..only ppl who ar close to me would know why. anyway...nothign much to say.
but i've been torn once again..but i feel okay =]
cos i have awesome friends who are there for me.
i know i'll be fine. thanks alot to laikuan, jeanni, kawai, kevin gan, joel kong,
kuah, april chercher, yuannyuann, derrick nathan, ah pin, kah kit, jason, shaun,
chris wong and so so many more. i thank you guys so so much. love u guys to bits =]
they all had different opinion towards this..but they all agreed on one thing,
your not worth it =D. dont worry...you will be to someone else.

.xoxoxoxo.
.CrystaL.

teardrops tearing more sense in my mind

2009-08-13T10:16:00.000-07:00

haven't been updating lately.
had alot going on..so i decided to stop
most things and have more time for myself.
well..basically life sucks.
ponteng the other day, kena kantoi by teachers.
teacher called my mom and my mom as the
radiostation she is..everyone knew.
so i got grounded and everything. but on the exact night
i ponteng and got kantoi'd he called. his back from germany.
..blablabla..blabla...blablablablabla...
i love him now =D. and tonight is actually the first
night we actually fought. i feel horrible as its completely all my fault.
thanks to my insecurity and sensitiveness. but well its all good now i guess =/.
just really need speak to him. his sending his cousin home from puchong now,
something about cousin left his keys at home? so yeah..hey baby if you actually
read or know i have a blog, do know that i love you ok? no matter wherever you are..
your something different and i'd love to keep you forever. i'm sorry for
being a big bitch lately..its the sensitiveness...i'm still working on that.
for now i know -Girl needs attention while Guy needs understandings-
and i'm still trying to understand why we need attention. grr!!! wtv it is..
life sucks! moving on...been going to the park lately with
shaun, pasha, amira, maria, zul and many more. so yeah...other than that?!?
nothing much...just waiting till PMR ends. JESUSCHRIST! its such a burden to have this
DOGDAMN exam in ones life. haha...so like till next time, take care! ouh ouh!!!
btw!!...LEFT4DEAD and COUNTERSTRIKE is AWESOME!!!

.xoxoxoxo.
.CrystaL.

.the end.

2009-07-30T02:28:00.000-07:00

stupid internet =/ grr!!
went to kim's bday the other day at MJ =].
happy birthday babe...sorry for the late post ups.
drank abit too much so got a little too tipsy and
then i like totally layed on the table. but the NIGHT was still young! tok some photos b4
sneaking to mardi later on just to meet up with a few friends..
showed my face and left to home. HOME!!!! yess ouh ouh home..
home SWEET home. that was one of the bestest sleep ever. so so awesome.
the next day i woke up with some pretty knocked u brain. i swear my head hurt x].
at least i slept without my handbag that night. cant remember much cos it was like
quite a long long time ago. stupid internet la...gosh!!
you know how sress i was about the damn internet? almost EVERYDAY i
wanted to cry just because of it
have to start studying soon. PMR is super
uberly gilarly near. no choice but study. die die die.
I'm DONE with all of THESE. gotta get my priorities straight.
get everyone out of everything..i'll show u guys.
i'm done playing..i over played anyway.
just so sick and tired with all the talking. so FUCK it k? i'm through.

.xxxooo.
.CrystaL.

i've lost my mojo.

2009-07-23T04:09:00.000-07:00

been so so busy these few days.
and my internet is a bitch =/..
so i havent got time to blog =<. been running here and there will alot of problems and shits to settle. met new ppl...went to the orphanage and got closer to some ppl. i'm still trying to be a person everyone loves and not a person everyone loves to hate. i'm so irritated by ppl who speaks bout me but they hardly know me. dont matter whether wtv they say is true or not...but just fucking shut the hell up. you dont know me...so just talk about ur miserable life and mind your wn GODDAMN business. just leave me alone to live in peace. its been so long since i saw my jeanni =]..missed her sooo much! then yay last saturday we went ou. her dad picked me up from my place =] her dad's cool! uncle wants to date my mom. ahahaah...been going to skewl alot and not skipping lately. PMR is in fucking 83 more days and i havent started studying anything x]. die die... ouh well..i'll try to update as mch as possible. till then..let the picture tell you wtv i've been doing =]

.xoxoxo.
.CrystaL.

decanter

2009-07-09T09:27:00.000-07:00

9 july 09.
today is a very tiring and stressful day.
went to skewl with alot of problem =/.
went home then fought with my sis.
then mom dropped me at lk's house..took
a walk to mc'd to join inigo,chiam,ah lan and danny.
around 5ish i went to ou by kahoe.
he was in mc'd with ee hao, suh en and ben there so
i asked him to drop me at ou cos i had dinner with my dad.
dinner was at 6.30 but i went there too early =.=. so i walked
around with ee hao they all first. met some new guy in dragonfly =D.
then went osc after that, ah pin came so he followed me to walk
to some japanese restaurant opposite sri melaka.
he left me then xos he had to rush back to osc to go dinner with friends.
so i went walking alone in parkson for PERFUME =D.
went for dinner with dad after that. left ou around 10ish after shopping with sis.
went out around 11ish to kota'd to say bye to SIANG MENG whose going to Auckland tomorrow =<. so sad...bye you..have fun there =]. now i'm in mc'd again..using the wifi. since stupid internet at home isnt working..AGAIN omg. here are some lef out pics and pics of today =D

hey you guys =< KENG EAN, LI SHYEN, YEE FERN & LAI KUAN.do know i love you guys alot and i appreciate everything.
thank you for not giving up especially you ke. i really really love you all. and i'm trying to be more
careful and aware now. i'm SORRY. i know you guys might not
trust me as much now...but i'm trying. i want to...but it takes time. but i am determine to
change. i LOVE YOU GUYS.

.xoxo.
.CrystaL.